She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
