She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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