The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
