I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
