So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
