my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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