Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
