**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the condom got lost in my hair
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
