I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
