oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
