I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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