my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
