can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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