No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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