Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
