so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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