You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
