I'm lost and stupid without you.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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