I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
No subtext here. People are naked.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize