he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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