I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
