im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
