WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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