Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize