Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
