Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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