YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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