What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
the day after is always just damage control
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
