i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
