people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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