Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
