I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
