He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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