we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
