yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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