His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
