i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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