Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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