it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
