Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
