I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
