high people should be assigned attendants
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
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The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
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He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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