Come see our sink grown plant.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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