3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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