You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
