so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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