I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
