i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
