there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
