How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
