Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
