drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
