She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So much Jack, so little girl.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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