I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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