i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
