he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
