I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
