hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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