Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
