I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
