Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Come share oat with me in your robe
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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