I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
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