At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
